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Chinese food, three new books.. and a bad day

Chinese food, three new books.. and a bad day

The day I saw no people… I started out my morning.. At noon.. waking up at intermittent times to find Ricky… first , folding sheets,,, second swabbing my floor.. ( no this is not some kinky sex thing.. ugh)  and the third time.. Making coffee.. and finally the fourth time.. telling me to get up and lock the door because he was leaving. Now wait… this Ricky is not a house boy ( why do they call them that , we never say house girl?... sexism.. hmph).. not my boyfriend.. not even a pity hook up.. now I say pity hook up .. a pity hook up is someone you hook up with , because you feel emotions of shame and pity at how alone you are, so basically this boy ricky was just a friend who came over to my place the previous night to keep me company. Yeah, it isn’t as fun as it sound (?) ….

 We sat through reports on BJP’s sad attempt at rekindling people’s faith in the system.. Locking the gutless men who make up the fascist moral brigade of empty scrotums… and deploying, more of such men with empty scrotums. I got a little carried away there. Yes so we sat silently through this, though before this, I left Ricky alone to hit the gym.. In hope of meeting this delicious boy I have been making crazy eyes at for about three months,he on the other hand has taken his buns of steel and gone MIA. Leaving me looking at old men gasping for breath and life on the treadmill. But later, after getting asked by the instructor if I would like to try their spin class, a new fangled thing where they make you sit on a bike sent by satan, in a dark room with an instructor screaming at you to pedal faster.. they only called us chubby ones to try this spin your way to the depths of hell,  I called ricky all the way to the hypermarket, that’s below my gym to pick up groceries I would later cook for him and another.. hmm.. Acquaintance who loaned me “a sum of money”.. cuz I spent all … that’s about ‘ a larger than the aforementioned sum of money’ in less than a month.. we are talking about 14 days.. who am I kidding a week.

So this acquaintance, is one of many friends I make on the bus to or from home.. I study eight hours away from where I stay. This means I usually travel back and forth when the mother or the threat of depression beckons. I usually end up making friends, good looking male friends, but now you have to understand its not as if we are on a train, therefore this means there is usually a lot of straining and cramping muscles at the end of a fruitful conversation until the swapping of the numbers happen.

Now this delightful person, didn’t really speak English too well, you see I am only comfortable with one language, and that’s English , anything else and yes there is nothing else. I am not proud of this , but I have come to take it In my stride by blaming my parents , for thinking it a wise decision to talk to us ( there is a younger brother) in nothing but English , so you see, it is extremely uncomfortable to even imagine talking to my parents in my “mother tongue”… basically the conversation between me and the generous guy from the bus consists of him asking me to accompany him to movies and dinners and me politely declining. Oh another thing he does, forces me to drink beer. Let’s just say I’m not a beer person, no … I can’t stand it. I in fact barf a lil even sniffing it. So the evening I was talking about, Ricky , guy from bus and me.. Sounds of sheer discomfort, occasional clearing of throat.. breathing and irrelevant comment about what’s going on in the news.. Louder than necessary laughter at things that are not even worth the inside laugh that happens when I watch sitcoms. I never laugh out loud… I find some of it extremely funny .. but never laugh out loud. The bugger finally left and it was still quiet , ricky slept on the floor , I sat on the comp.. ah just like a couple in a long term relationship. Oh we did watch American idol.. I was obviously rooting for our boy anoop to make it into the top 36.. and then we did laugh really hard at that stupid female canine Tatiana del toro.. the crazy one with the insane insistent giggling…

Forward to 12 o clock.. home alone , my room is sparkling I barely wake up to message everyone a happy valentines day , to be reminded of how I hate these stupid days.. enough and more has been said about how we need one day and why not celebrate love all the days.. blah blah.. the truth is people don’t have the damned time… or the money. and you know what?... it is fun to look forward to day you can get treated to a beautiful dinner, gifts and all of it. When you know its too hard the rest of the time to always have that high people get on days like birthdays, anniversaries and feb the fourteenth.. and now that we have the Sene s running around beating people up .. Valentines day has become more adventurous.. even forbidden.. come on.. the forbidden stuff is always the hottest .. you have to agree.. let’s raise this warm two days old thumbs up to the moral brigade for making valentines day an even bigger deal, with battalions.. and curfew.. and the whole “wrong”  side to it. 

After I did that .. I watched all these ripped sitcoms.. I took from a cousin.. who isn’t my cousin.. it’s just easier to say than actually explain the relationship. By the way a little factoid, there is no such thing as cousin brother and cousin sister , it’s just a cousin.  

My ex.. spankin guy.. an absolute gem of a guy tells me .. “hey babe , are you home I’m coming over.. “ well obviously I say no.. no I dint I said I was at home.. and I even dressed up. But he dint show up, I got myself out of the house and to a certain bookstore with a great sale, at least that’s what the flyers claimed, I still think I got ripped, I bought myself a coupla of books, all the while looking with an obvious look of disgust at the hordes of couples and families, pissing me off with their uninhibited laughter, and kids shrieking. I was officially the only single person. These horrible people actually made me feel ashamed to be single. to top it off I see these two hot guys walk in just while I was getting my pity prize billed , and one of them smiled at me, I obviously smiled back.. full on .. full power , come to mama smile. And oh yes… the other hot boy calls out to him “hey sweetie, they ve got that book you wanted on sale.”.. I wanted to die!... the horror!...i should have known.. I literally have not met a random stranger who gives someone the come hither look. Is that even what its called now?.... gosh..

I just billed my ass off..  was about to leave when the gooey chocolate brownies called out to me, from the bistro in the bookstore. I threw caution to the winds and said to hell with these judgmental new age nuclear families with their ‘hum do hamare do’ philosophy and their ‘lets buy our bratty kids whatever they want so we can sleep better at night with the guilt of spending so much time at work, issues, living in denial!.. That’s all I can say.

So I walked over , ordered the most bad caloried up drink in the house, with a gooey chocolate brownie to go, but it wasn’t to go . he got it on a plate .. I sat there surrounded by these people with their delusions of happiness and ate my brownie alone. The only consolation, nobody even noticed. I got out of there , and walked the way back crossing a few places that looked like saint valentine puked all over it. And headed to my single room with attached bath. Rent includes electricity and internet charges. I ordered Chinese food, and spoke to my mom. And got back to my sitcoms.

 the cherry , my ex comes online to tell me he had this wonderful evening planned out , but because I acted like a piss off I did’nt deserve it, hence he did’nt come. I just said goodnight. And sat and decided, none of this has to be hard. In fact the day was splendid. Even if I don’t have the romance and the gifts.. I do have porn especially made for women , downloading (at a few kb’s per second, this is as close romance is , as for now) and I  got myself some pretty amazing literature that I will read at a future time. I just don’t know when.  

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

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