Why I’ll never be in a relationship.
disclaimer: i do not assume all men have the same agenda, so don't be hating. this particular piece came off a conversation with a friend , he had no clue it was coming. :)
"hey, my name is .......... , and yours does not matter.. no.. don't tell me , i insist. it just makes things interesting and i wouldn't remember it anyway.
would you like to come over to my place?.. for some coffee ,pathetic attempt at small talk, wine and then some sex, later?. or better yet , can we go over to your place. so it makes it easy for me to leave the next morning.none if the cuddling shit !.. ha ha .. you know i be hating that.
breakfast ?.. no no .. not required, what would we talk about anyway?.. i don't really have women friends, because i fuck them off (yes , not scare, but fuck). they don't stay when they realise i have no respect for women. no wait that is way too cliché, i actually dont consider women to be of any particular importance except maybe, spread on command.
yeah , you think i m funny?.. ohhhhhhhhhhhh you think i m retarded?... ha ha ha .. your loss. would you rather be played , a long time... would you rather i buy you roses and chocolates. and make grand promises. until the very moment i stick my wee wee in you and then dust my hands off leaving you feeling betrayed and hurt?.. you would ?... really ?.. you'd be pining away for months... !.. and crying yourself to sleep,getting these women empowerment talks from all your girlfriends?, watching inane sitcoms, that in your right mind you would never give the time of your day to watch. you want to spend all that money on the break up hair-cut, and break-up shoes?..and then have the rebound relationship, further damaging your fragile sense of self and whishy washy dreams of a man, honest and a man with good intentions.
would you like to turn into this dike after countless such heartbreaks?,, and toture people with your ideologies and mail poor unaware people your agenda?..
stay this way, stay hopeful, and stay docile, let me have my way with you. but know this. i do not care for your name, for your parents names, i do not care if you grew up with daddy issues, i do not care if your favourite color is black but you tell people its purple. i do not care if you wear a size 6 or 20.
i m just glad you heard me out. now.... would you like to go over to your place, spend the night with me. and get back to your life the next day?.. "