Should you delete your social media ?
The short answer, yes. The long answer well, its not that long.
As someone borned and brought up with the internet, or rather just at the advent of the internet, I think I have a more logical relationship with it, one where I could pull the plug if I wanted.
And I did.
As we have to, we have to go back to the days of yore. Starting at the bottom, back in the old days, you’d have to go to a communal cyber cafe, even before people discovered they could be nasty with no fucks to give and could make even virtual real estate , the go to place go for porn and the other plethora of debaucherous exploits. Even at the cafes, which from an open room, soon had small dividers, to full fledged mini rooms that housed single computers. Why?
This nastiness aside, the internet’s true appeal has always been - connection.
It had the allure of pen pals without the waiting, the ASL without the distance, communication without the awkwardness of reality. Byte sized human interaction if you will.
But that’s what it was , connection and communication.
Big wide open space to do all of that and more.
The more. What could be categorized in internetland as MORE,
but more dumb.
The anonymity that allows for lack of accountability. The phases sans faces the internet has seen, hackers for the sake of hacking ( not the kind that that contributes to bringing down the unnecessary, the robbing, destroying, corrupting kinds), the many rings of child pornographers that now have the great void to hide betwixt, the trolls, the bullies and the annoyance of regular people you and I know of, having the platform the gift that keeps on giving a play by play of their inner workings with filters of course.
The over enthusiastic family, the blessed loved up couple, the always excited without reason, the subtly placed designer bag, the tumultuous relationship timeline we have to be privy to, all the excitement, The excitement of it all! How happy and wondrous life is , and how boring of you to feel any other emotion other than the excitement and happiness that MY social media led me to believe EVERYONE but me experienced.
Am I just a grouch? I’d like to think I’m a realist, I have issues with people who think happiness is a choice, excitement is a regular given and daily emotion that one MUST feel.
I’m sorry, but it is proven many times over, happiness is not really an efficient emotion.
There are far more complex emotions I continue to experience, that have their place, and are here for a reason. The whole of our lives, we spend discovering how, why and for what are we here? Without that knowledge, there comes and has to be an unending curiosity that HAS TO coexist and with that all of those conflicting, sometimes frustrating, sometimes uplifting emotions.
And the social media advent and rise to what is now an impervious place in all our lives, was unsettling to me. It made everyone think, and behave in strange ways, people I thought I knew behaved in strange and mysterious ways, the new set of rules that came with it also confused and maddened me. Don’t seem to over eager, never have more ‘follows’ than ‘followers’, only ever seem absolutely above and over the top, always ever seem pleasantly surprised by people’s mundane, uninteresting shit. And the excitement of it all. Fuck!
Also how amazing is it to just be neutral. So underrated.
I’ve never been one to ‘like’ what everyone’s liking, not to say everything that is mainstream is a shit fest, which is why many really great underground, and unknown things eventually come to light and become ‘normal’ for people to support and ‘like’ .
Like - lets maybe ask women if they want to fuck before we whip our dicks out and rub it raw.
Not to say only ungreat things have come to live in the light of day from the social meeds, pour a bucket of ice water on me for being a curmudgeon up until this moment, but we learnt about a great many things from it, veganism became trendy- yay for animals, acai bowls exist, big asses finally got their place in the world, a lot of great music is now easily accessible , Issa Rae and so many other wonderful women who got a chance to show their faces on their own terms and be successful and not because they fit into a box the world decided to put women into, ASMR, Me too movement, the ‘it gets better’ movement, a great many groups in India that formed and got to cleaning the streets, the charity drives that work if only to show people how charitable we all are, micro brewing, I think the list can keep going , but the more I look at it , I also realize these are magical things that didn’t need any one platform, or any singular medium to get their place in the light.
The short answers aside (140 characters begone), I don’t know if anyone else felt this, but didn’t you feel like your friendships suddenly had different, stupider rules? That could be likened to being on a stage, a stage that people are allowed to participate - through their comments and their likes, and who in the world likes any of those audience participation situations? My friendships felt pressured, not by anyone, just removed, like it was closer, but now more impersonal. More distant, more jaded.
The more I explain to people, when asked why I got rid of my accounts, the more sure I am, I did the right thing, I’ve also realized anything that gets too ‘big’ loses its appeal to me, it’s not a hipster, millennial thing. I don’t feel like I am any better than anyone on these platforms. I still engage with content on youtube, but I was on it for long enough to see it change and morph, I’ve grown up with the internet and right now, it’s in this weird late teen phase, confused, manipulative, some moments of brilliance but mostly making shitty horrible decisions. And while it goes through its phase, I think I am more than happy to take my hiatus. To regroup and to reconnect with the friendships that got tainted. Rewrite rules for my personal social world.
Till then, don’t like, don’t subscribe, no-one cares.